realistic viewpoints

How I do I breathe? I think learning the art of a deep breath might be more valuable that originally thought. My current career choice seems to have landed me in a big pile of neverending work. My attitude is shot. My desire is drained. My opinion is rattled. My brain is tired. But what choice does someone really have? I can't quit every time I've overdone myself. I must find ways to cope while I'm in the middle of it. Lord, open my eyes to a realistic viewpoint that is founded in your plan for my life. Don't let me run too far ahead, don't let me sit down on the path. Guide me daily. Show me how to trust you for the manna every morning.

Being an adult?

I've been struggling on and off within this new permanent position. Some days I think I have it pinpointed. Other days I start crying and I don't know why. Hmmm.... First off, I'm gaining valuable experience at a record-breaking speed. Second, I want to learn how I react to and handle specific situations. Third, my skill set is unique. But what do I truly feel God's call in?

crazy, crazy, crazy

I recently commented how BUSY work was for me and I heard an interesting reply. "Well, that's why they hired you, isn't it? They had tons of work for you to do." I smiled and agreed. Yup, that is why I got a job in this tempermental economy. They had work for me. While things have been pretty stressful... God has been breathing into my life. There is a storm. He is the calm. These projects are for his glory.

no longer temp

I have accepted a full-time position as a Communication Specialist. So many things are great about it. I love the variety of my work. I love the flexibility and the opportunities for growth in my area of study. I wonder how I am going to transition from a 200% throttle for temporary work down to a steadier 100% for a long haul. How do I turn down the stress level and still produce high quality all the time? hmmm.

life as a communication specialist

3 weeks done. 5 weeks to go. Like expected, I continue to move at lightening speed to finish projects accurately and in time. No time to catch any breaths. But I am learning.

I have battled the Quark monster more than once and it no longer wins every match. Occassionally I take the win and walk away with something usable.

I was able to sit in on a meeting with a outside designer which rocked! I was pretty stressed and tired so I'm not sure how I appeared but the meeting went well. My brain even functioned during most of it. [side note: I've been dealing with some brain malfunctioning recently.]

I've been building and packaging images for laymen and designers alike to use. Also working on some very basic supplemental material for their Leaders Live Evangelism event. I wish I could do some more serious design work for them but supplemental is still something. Right?

I am updating the Web site whenever called upon. Sometimes dipping into the dynamic pool of php. I'm not changing the water at all-- just what is inside the water right now. I'm working on learning php though. I also field questions that come through our webhelp email address. Those are fun. ;)

Summer of Marsha

2 days back at Stonecroft. AHHHHH! jk, but it can seem overwhelming. Learn Quark, learn php, figure out their database structure, mess with quark, want to throw up on quark, update site, update site, update site, did I mention update the gosh darn site? Oh wait-- I don't have the right admin access to update the site. Pause.....

But I know after this work things should settle down some. And I can put on my resume about three different times-- ADAPTS TO NEW SETTINGS UNDER HIGH PRESSURE SITUATIONS. Thank you. More later this week.

Blog University freshman year

Wow! I can't tell you how much I am learning from some amazing blogs out there. My design abilities are starting to shoot through the roof. My Web knowledge is slowly beginning to bud little leaves. It is almost overwhelming what I can learn. Here are two I'm frequenting right now:

http://www.blog.spoongraphics.co.uk
http://tutsplus.com

Making Every Minute Count

6 days until another move. I am trying to make every minute count since my future is uncertain (to everyone but God). Hitting several niece's softball games this week and a birthday party this weekend. And packing... oh lovely, glorious stuffing of the car. But I really want this next two months to once again be about learning how to take care of myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am not unable to live on my own--- what I mean is--- prioritizing myself and focusing on God. Not collapsing because I have gave, gave, gave when God wanted me to listen, listen, listen.

Learning on the job

As many communication problems as I have, I am proud to announce that I am not the worst. Has our society always been like this? Holding strict opinions for how they want something done but never adequately expressing their instructions. Yet another learning experience at API: customers. Interpretation is 75% of the Web Services Department's job. This simply highlights the value of someone being able to connect with people immediately and smooch as much as necessary to keep the process smooth.

I've also realized how crucial forgiveness is with any job. Someone will probably hurt your feelings but you can't hide in a box. You must continue working and eventually interacting with that person. While Christians are instructed to forgive because of Jesus's/God's example but I think that it can apply to everyone. Learning how to let things roll off your back is harder than learning how to become bitter. But securing this ability as young in your career as possible is invaluable.

I also think I've learned more in this last year through Google then four years of college. Is it the university's fault? No probably not. But for me, college wasn't about securing an elite job, it was about people and experiences. More on this later.

Revisit my 2009 Goals after 4 months

learn everything I can about CSS

• I have learned a lot but this one just keeps snaking around. so cool though!
  

embrace my writing, planning, and analysis skills in a new light

• I wrote two articles for Liberty Hospital's employee newsletter (and I didn't grumble)
• When starting an easy-to-update Web site build-- PLAN PLAN PLAN!

do things that I've never done before

• Got a temp job in the Web business (never thought that was possible)
• still need to work on this one
  

figure out what I need to learn (this is key!)

• cms
• drag-n-drop interfaces with cookies
  

On the road again

Well, if you haven't already heard: my temp job in St. Joe is split into two parts. 6 weeks then a break and then another 6 weeks. Now during that break I will be moving back to Stonecroft to work. The job title is a Communication Specialist. It is also only temporary. When it is complete they will evaluate my performance and their budget. No guarantees. I have mixed emotions. Don't get me wrong-- I'm very excited about seeing all my friends again and working full time in ministry stuff. But it has always been hard to move, move, and move. My family did it and now I'm having to do it. Never being settled is rough. 3 weeks til I pack my life back into a car and hit the road. What is God doing? Almost a year since graduation...

Figure it out

Well, the "add image" feature is still not working properly. Yesterday I received my first paycheck for 2009. January, February, March, April.... I think we're 1/3 of the way through the year. Things have slowed down considerably here at work. The weather is nice so everyone is outside and not thinking about their Web site. So my first two weeks of working in a new place at super warp speed has now diminished some. I'm still working on improving my CSS skills. Most of the time it makes sense, but everyone once in a while my brain starts going in circles and then someone falls off the merry-go-round. The biggest thing that I've learned that I've needed to learn is slicing up designs in photoshop and incorporating them into your Web site. I didn't even know I needed to know this... Whoops. Must not have paid very close attention in that class. But that is what your first couple jobs are all about. Realize you know very little.

Designing for the Web

Here are some are some of my first banner links while working here at API. Some are a little rough but improvement will come. In the future, hopefully I can include some light animation.

My .gifs are not working properly yet. Coming soon!

Phase 3...

I'm going to attempt to keep this more up-to-date in the coming weeks since I'm learning so much and want to track it. I just started a temp position at Angus Productions, Inc. in St. Joseph. A member of their Web Services department is gone on maternity leave and I am filling in. There is a little uncertainty how long I'll be here but I'll know more next week.

Learn. Learn. Learn. I'm trying to soak in everything I can. I can upload a Web site. I can edit a Web site. But can I really build one properly? I've discovered that I'm quite inadequate but have the potential to learn. I'm praying that I can fit several pieces together in my short time and really walk away with a new outlook.

Like normal- everything is unnormal. I'm constantly living in a different place, interacting with new people, even working at someone else's desk. Nothing is settled in my life right now but God seems to want it that way for the time being. (what does "for the time being" even mean? geez)

Biggest lesson I've learned since "becoming" an adult: You always struggle with how to manage your time. The past is the past, refocus on right now.

Phase 2 ended

The internship at LH was fairly beneficial when I look back over it. Yes, I did some secretary work and yes, I did some grunt work.... But I was able to design an 8.5 x 11 direct mail piece for their Outpatient Rehab Clinic's new Tennis Strengthening & Agility Program. Rehab also has a whole new set of Web pages. No real coding was involved but I was able to whip them out faster than anyone else in the office. I also wrote two articles for their employee newsletter. Overall, I was able to add some more confidence and pieces to my portfolio. Not bad for 8 weeks of unemployment.

Phase 2

This week I started an unpaid internship at Liberty Hospital's Public Relations department. So far things are going okay. Of course, I'm doing this to learn, hopefully gain more experience and improve my portfolio. We'll just have to wait to see the effects.

More experience

Any college graduate can use more experience! That's what I keep telling myself because I know it's true. I am currently building a Web site for my future freelance business and a Web site for my family's Angus cattle farm. I also attempted to help the BSU put out their Alumni & Friends Newsletter. Hopefully people will decide to support BSU financially because the design was so dazzling!

I may be starting an unpaid internship soon. Keep me in your prayers!

1/12 months for 2009 are over.

I'm now into my third month of unemployment. The first month was very relaxing and I didn't have a care in the world. I loved spending time with my family and slowing piecing my portfolio together. The second month was slightly frustrating. Why wasn't any jobs falling in my lap? (ha ha) The third month has started off pretty frustrating. And having those random "bad days" just make it worse but... my parents always taught me to never give up... always do my very best... be myself. Useful advice that I'm having to draw on more and more these days.

Here's my running record of what I've learned:
1-YOU HAVE TO KNOW PEOPLE THAT KNOW PEOPLE
2-Become a cover letter connoisseur.
3-Know exactly what you "want to say" in an interview and don't leave without saying it.
4-Don't waste any of your answers in an interview- each is a golden little nugget.
5-Save your money so you have it when you don't have a job. :)
6-Be nice to your family so you have a place to live...
7-Blogs are amazing-not only have I been learning from professionals in my field who have traveled similar roads to mine but everyone posts useful links! This is have been #1 for helping me grasp CSS for laying out Web pages.
8-NEVER stop learning!
9-Always beef your portfolio (even if you don't get paid for a single piece in it).

Continue Moving Forward

Despite not having a job... I can't just sit on my butt everyday and complain about my situation. I've decided to continue moving forward. I have pursued some internship possibilities (unpaid of course....), continued to prepare for freelance work, found new things to learn, and do too much thinking. I know that God wants to use this time to do something in my life. But what is it? Please pray for me.

One of the hardest things I've done in my life

I can count on one hand some of the hardest things I've done in my life. This current predicament is one of them. Unemployment.... after college graduation. College friends probably remember me as the one always DOING something. Back then I was always doing something different. Never the same stuff everyday. Now I'm stuck in a rut. I load the dishwasher, clean the floors, look for jobs on the Internet, e-mail people and never get a response, and refuse to exercise. :) It is really starting to wear on me. I have my "up" days but the "down" days are getting worse. Now the question is... what am I going to do about it? Stay in bed a little longer? Freak out about my money? Fall into depression? I don't know but I'm going to have to figure something out.

"These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold." 1 Peter 1:7

what I didn't realize about stewardship...

I was listening to the radio this past week and heard something new about stewardship. It's probably been said before but somewhere between my ears and my brain it hasn't connected.

Biblical farmers grew crops and gave the first fruits of their harvest to God.

Most of us work 8-5 and receive a paycheck and grumble about how much the government and God demand. There's nothing left for us to spend!

But following scripture means we should do everything like we're working for the Lord. So that 8-5 job... we're working for the Lord. So that 8-5 paycheck... is what we have to give to the Lord (since we were doing it for him anyway). God wants us to be productive members of society, labor in honor of his love, sacrifice our harvests, and love doing it! Because we will get far greater in return. Eternal rewards.

Be still?

Mountains. Red Sea. Egyptian chariots on your tail. No matter where you turn, things don't look good. Do you listen to the voices of dissension? "Let's go back and be slaves. It's better than dying in the desert!" Or do you trust God, be still, and wait for him to work?

Does God have something great planned for me? Do I become discouraged by the economy, lack of job opportunities, my money slowly dwindling? Do I turn back? Or do I use this as an opportunity for God to do something AMAZING!

Do I listen to others? or do I listen to my heart?

Who am I?

Again, during my pursuit of employment information to mull over, I have a found a golden nugget. I can't tell you how many times I have been told to form a mission statement or find my passion. This is apparently critical for my job search. My mind always swirled around possibilities but never landed in paydirt. I liked photography. I liked design. I like online-anything. I don't mind analyzing and writing. Ultimately, I like exercising different parts of my brain.

Being an IDM major was awesome! Each day was full of something different! I would spend hours in the art studio intricately producing a final product after a mind-boggling number of hours spent in brainstorming. Then hop over to another lab and troubleshoot some new trick in Flash that my teacher had assigned. Then off to shoot a story for the yearbook. Then spend my evening choosing photos, writing cutlines, and editing my work. Burning the midnight oil with research and analysis on the next day's assignments. Daily being given tasks that I had no previous exposure and then watching myself handle them. I knew nothing about behind-the-website and imagine the enormity of tackling Javascript 1. I hadn't taken an art class since 7th grade, folks. Now sit beside me in Intro to Design class. Then onto the world of web publishing, advertising, and marketing. Everything was new to me but everything seemed possible. I wasn't scared to learn. In fact, I liked to learn.

So back to the point, what is my passion? These last four years of learning have overtaken my mind with possibilities and I needed to step back and think. Just a few months ago, I decided my goal was to eventually help international missionaries tell their story to supporters, possible coworkers, and the world at large. I still believe in this but now I need to think deeper. What did God build me to do right now? January of 2009. This time in my life is not a waste. It is specifically crafted to be a part of God's plan.

I like photography, design, writing, etc., but I definitely want to pursue the online presence. Web. How I am going to do this? That is yet to be decided. Check in soon for an update on this passion mission!

Food for Thought

I know that the next 12 months will be full of change. Why not grab it by the horns? I was perusing the web to find more "extremely relevant" blogs and tripped over this question. I was stopped in my tracks. Previously, I had been thinking how I would ride out this year and survive the inevitable changes. But this was a new twist. Why not pursue change regardless?

I have always been energized by learning new things and thinking in a new way (hince my degree choice in IDM). So this question hit a sore spot. Stop wallering around in the mud of economic woes and kick yourself in the butt! Who cares what is going on around you? Your situation doesn't control you. You control your situation and your outlook. Any student or professional should be asking themself this question:

What specific learning and development goals are you setting for yourself so you’re noticeably different at the end of 2009?

• learn everything I can about CSS
• begin to unravel what all those acronyms in the web world mean!
• embrace my writing, planning, and analysis skills in a new light
• do things that I've never done before
• figure out what I need to learn (this is key!)
• become more aware of the people and situations surrounding me
• read through the Old Testament and begin to piece together the Bible in my brain

Second Significant Quest

I have begun my second most significant quest. The first being my relationship with Christ. But now I have embarked on a tumultuous journey for employment. God seems to have something great in store for me because of the current economic situation. I've started this blog to track my life from this point forward but also to keep in touch with the "Musings" you can see linked from my blog. I am often inspired by the words of my college campus minister. I am also learning a lot about "my field" and life in general from a earlier college grad. So check in often to follow my journey.