One of the hardest things I've done in my life

I can count on one hand some of the hardest things I've done in my life. This current predicament is one of them. Unemployment.... after college graduation. College friends probably remember me as the one always DOING something. Back then I was always doing something different. Never the same stuff everyday. Now I'm stuck in a rut. I load the dishwasher, clean the floors, look for jobs on the Internet, e-mail people and never get a response, and refuse to exercise. :) It is really starting to wear on me. I have my "up" days but the "down" days are getting worse. Now the question is... what am I going to do about it? Stay in bed a little longer? Freak out about my money? Fall into depression? I don't know but I'm going to have to figure something out.

"These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold." 1 Peter 1:7

what I didn't realize about stewardship...

I was listening to the radio this past week and heard something new about stewardship. It's probably been said before but somewhere between my ears and my brain it hasn't connected.

Biblical farmers grew crops and gave the first fruits of their harvest to God.

Most of us work 8-5 and receive a paycheck and grumble about how much the government and God demand. There's nothing left for us to spend!

But following scripture means we should do everything like we're working for the Lord. So that 8-5 job... we're working for the Lord. So that 8-5 paycheck... is what we have to give to the Lord (since we were doing it for him anyway). God wants us to be productive members of society, labor in honor of his love, sacrifice our harvests, and love doing it! Because we will get far greater in return. Eternal rewards.

Be still?

Mountains. Red Sea. Egyptian chariots on your tail. No matter where you turn, things don't look good. Do you listen to the voices of dissension? "Let's go back and be slaves. It's better than dying in the desert!" Or do you trust God, be still, and wait for him to work?

Does God have something great planned for me? Do I become discouraged by the economy, lack of job opportunities, my money slowly dwindling? Do I turn back? Or do I use this as an opportunity for God to do something AMAZING!

Do I listen to others? or do I listen to my heart?

Who am I?

Again, during my pursuit of employment information to mull over, I have a found a golden nugget. I can't tell you how many times I have been told to form a mission statement or find my passion. This is apparently critical for my job search. My mind always swirled around possibilities but never landed in paydirt. I liked photography. I liked design. I like online-anything. I don't mind analyzing and writing. Ultimately, I like exercising different parts of my brain.

Being an IDM major was awesome! Each day was full of something different! I would spend hours in the art studio intricately producing a final product after a mind-boggling number of hours spent in brainstorming. Then hop over to another lab and troubleshoot some new trick in Flash that my teacher had assigned. Then off to shoot a story for the yearbook. Then spend my evening choosing photos, writing cutlines, and editing my work. Burning the midnight oil with research and analysis on the next day's assignments. Daily being given tasks that I had no previous exposure and then watching myself handle them. I knew nothing about behind-the-website and imagine the enormity of tackling Javascript 1. I hadn't taken an art class since 7th grade, folks. Now sit beside me in Intro to Design class. Then onto the world of web publishing, advertising, and marketing. Everything was new to me but everything seemed possible. I wasn't scared to learn. In fact, I liked to learn.

So back to the point, what is my passion? These last four years of learning have overtaken my mind with possibilities and I needed to step back and think. Just a few months ago, I decided my goal was to eventually help international missionaries tell their story to supporters, possible coworkers, and the world at large. I still believe in this but now I need to think deeper. What did God build me to do right now? January of 2009. This time in my life is not a waste. It is specifically crafted to be a part of God's plan.

I like photography, design, writing, etc., but I definitely want to pursue the online presence. Web. How I am going to do this? That is yet to be decided. Check in soon for an update on this passion mission!

Food for Thought

I know that the next 12 months will be full of change. Why not grab it by the horns? I was perusing the web to find more "extremely relevant" blogs and tripped over this question. I was stopped in my tracks. Previously, I had been thinking how I would ride out this year and survive the inevitable changes. But this was a new twist. Why not pursue change regardless?

I have always been energized by learning new things and thinking in a new way (hince my degree choice in IDM). So this question hit a sore spot. Stop wallering around in the mud of economic woes and kick yourself in the butt! Who cares what is going on around you? Your situation doesn't control you. You control your situation and your outlook. Any student or professional should be asking themself this question:

What specific learning and development goals are you setting for yourself so you’re noticeably different at the end of 2009?

• learn everything I can about CSS
• begin to unravel what all those acronyms in the web world mean!
• embrace my writing, planning, and analysis skills in a new light
• do things that I've never done before
• figure out what I need to learn (this is key!)
• become more aware of the people and situations surrounding me
• read through the Old Testament and begin to piece together the Bible in my brain

Second Significant Quest

I have begun my second most significant quest. The first being my relationship with Christ. But now I have embarked on a tumultuous journey for employment. God seems to have something great in store for me because of the current economic situation. I've started this blog to track my life from this point forward but also to keep in touch with the "Musings" you can see linked from my blog. I am often inspired by the words of my college campus minister. I am also learning a lot about "my field" and life in general from a earlier college grad. So check in often to follow my journey.